The Heart Wants
by sugarrrandspice
Summary: Sometimes the universe has a way of bringing two people together. Slow Burner. (WestAllen)
1. Chapter 1

**July 4, 2014**

What an end to a perfect day. The sky above them was filled with red, white and blue fireworks as they sat in the grass eating ice cream. They'd been in the park for the entire day - picnicking and lollygagging until sunset.

Iris sighed. "This is amazing. Everything's amazing," she said, smiling to herself.

"You're amazing," he replied as he positioned himself towards her. He cleared his throat. "There's something I'd like to say Iris."

She turned to face him. "Alright, shoot!"

He cleared his throat a once more and turned a light shade of pink. Iris had no idea what he was about to do.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he started, "and today's been one of the best days I've had in a long time. I've only known you for 12 months, but you've brightened up my life. Being here with you today's only justified that I'm making the right decision here."

Iris raised an eyebrow and smirked. "What are you getting at?" she asked.

He pulled a small black box out of his pocket and Iris completely froze. She wasn't expecting this at all. He smiled before continuing.

"Iris Ann West, I'd like you to marry me. Will you?"

She blinked a few times, still trying to process what was happening. So many questions began to run through her mind at once. She hadn't even realized she was so deep in thought until he waved a hand in front of her face. She smiled.

"Yes. Yes Eddie, I'll marry you!"

**[xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX]**

"He did _what_?!" Joe yelled at the top of his lungs.

"He proposed! Look," Iris said as she dangled her left hand in their faces.

She called Barry and Joe the very moment after he placed the ring on her finger, telling them to meet her back at the house right away. She wanted to tell them both at once. They were her family; it was only right.

Joe looked at Barry with a facial expression that Iris had never seen before. She didn't know what to make of it. Barry just stood there, stunned and silenced by the shocking and unexpected news.

"What's up with you guys? You're being weird," Iris said, nonchalantly.

Joe gave Barry a glance that read "It's now or never!" before storming out of the room.

"Iris...I don't know what to say," Barry finally spoke.

"Congrats? I'm so happy for you? Maybe a smile and a hug?" she retorted with a sarcastic tone.

Barry's usual brave face was doing a terrible job at hiding his emotions at this moment. He thought his heart had broken after catching Iris and Eddie kissing at the cafe, but that feeling couldn't begin to compare to the one he was feeling right now. He felt like someone plunged their hand into his chest, yanked his heart and dragged it through his stomach and intestines, just to cause extra pain, before pulling it out and stomping on it. His heart had officially been broken.

"I can't exactly say that I'm happy for you, Iris. I've only known this guy for 3 months! I don't know if you _remember_, but i was in a coma when you started dating. I don't know what Eddie's intentions are! I barely know the guy."

Barry was trying his hardest to be level headed, but he was getting really hot and panicky. Iris' head shot up in disbelief.

"I cannot believe you just said that!" she yelled. Tears immediately came to her eyes. "I'll _never_ forget that you were missing from my life for 9 months Barry. It was like a huge chunk of me was gone. You're my best friend," she said as tears rolled down her cheeks. "And Eddie - he comforted me throughout all of it. He's a great guy Barry. I know you don't know him like I do, but at least give him a chance."

Seeing Iris cry, knowing that he was the cause of it, made Barry feel like dirt. He'd always been a sucker for her tears. He was being unreasonable. He shouldn't be mad. He couldn't! Yet he was. He was the one who chose not to tell her how he felt about her and now it was too late. None of this was worth losing his best friend over though.

He walked over to her and enveloped her in a giant bear hug. He traced circles into her back as he inhaled the coconut hibiscus scent of her hair.

"If he makes you that happy, then I'll give him a chance. I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Beep! Beep! Beep!**_

Barry rolled over and checked the time on his alarm clock.

"9:08? That can't be right!" he yelled, grabbing his phone to see if the times matched – and they did. "I'm late!"

He jumped out of bed and sped around the house. Lately, this had become his usual morning routine. Between fighting crime and working at the lab, he was exhausted most of the time, which caused him to oversleep often. He couldn't fully blame his double life for him always being late though; it had been a bad habit of his since he was a kid.

"44 seconds. New Record." he said boastfully. He had to be at work for 9:30, but first, he would stop by his favorite coffee shop to get breakfast.

**[xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX]**

Right on cue, Iris sauntered over to Barry with his order in hand. "One mocha frappe and an egg sandwich," she said cheerfully. "Ya know Bear, you should try something different once in a while."

"For what?" he asked, looking up at her. "I like that you know my order by heart."

Iris giggled and put her hand on Barry's shoulder. "Of course you do. I wouldn't want to wait on that long line every morning either."

He studied her face as she rambled on and on about him needing change. Her eyebrows were furrowed, feigning seriousness, but her soft chocolate brown eyes sold her out. Barry silently called her bluff and she smiled.

"I hate you. You never take me seriously."

"I take you seriously when you're actually being serious, Iris," he laughed. "You're lecturing me about different types of coffee and putting toppings on my eggs."

Iris sighed, looked down at her watch and slapped Barry's right arm. "My dad's going to kill you. It's 9:25!"

Barry shot up and turned around so fast that he bumped someone's cup right out of their hand. He used his super speed to catch it before it could fall.

"I'm so sorry," he said as he handed the stranger her cup. When he finally looked up, Barry couldn't help but stare. She was a curvaceous, 5'8" woman with dark brown hair that had a subtle green ombre in the back. Her eyes were a hazel/green color and her skin was sunkissed. Captivating to say the least. Barry smiled, embarrassed, and jetted off to work.

**[xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX]**

"Well look what the cat dragged in," Iris said to a lethargic looking Barry. "You should really think about becoming a comedienne," Barry said, sarcastically, as he slumped into his seat. Iris frowned and rubbed his back. "Long night?"

Between being drained and the warmth of Iris' hands, Barry couldn't help but doze off. "Bear you ok?" she asked, concern in her voice. He looked up at her and forced himself to smile. "Just a little tired, that's all."

"How 'bout I make you your favorite?"

"Maybe I'll change things up today, like you said," he replied. Iris chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "Really. Entertain me."

"I'll take my coffee black. I need something potent."

"Gross, Bear," Iris laughed, "When I said something different, I meant something better! But as you wish."

Just as Iris finished Barry's order, the exotic looking green-haired woman walked in. "Your new friend has been coming here every morning, at the same time, for the past four days," she said, just above a whisper. Barry looked at her in utter confusion.

"What? What friend?"

Iris huffed and rolled her eyes. Barry was so intelligent, but so slow when it came to things like this.

"Looks like you're about to find out. She's heading this way." Barry's eyes widened. "You should talk to her. She's been checking you out," Iris said, nudging his hand. "N-N-No," Barry muttered as he viciously shook his head.

The green-haired woman made finally made her way over to the counter. "Hey gorgeous. I'll take a mocha latte and a cream cheese bagel, please," she said to Iris. She had a slight accent. Brazilian, Barry thought.

"You don't strike me as the black coffee type," the woman said, laughing at Barry's disgusted facial expression after his first sip. "You have good judgement. Never again," Barry chuckled.

She put her hand out. "I'm Beatriz, but you can call me Bea." A few moments passed and Barry was shamelessly gazing at her. "I'm Iris and this is Silent Barry," Iris said jokingly as she brought Bea's order to the counter. She snapped her fingers in front of Barry's face, snapping him out of the trance. He jumped and shook Bea's hand. "I'm so sorry. I totally heard you, just-"

"You're cute," Bea said, boldy sizing him up. "You should call me sometime." She slipped her number into his chest pocket, winked at Iris and left.

"I think she likes you," Barry said teasingly. Iris stared, baffled by what had just occurred. "Honestly, I couldn't tell if she was trying to get with you or me, but you got the digits in the end," Iris replied, half serious. They both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

**[xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX]**

Oddly enough, the one place that Barry could go to for clarity was his lab. He sat at his desk and tried to make sense of his emotions, but to no avail. He was so deep into his thoughts that he didn't realize Joe walked in until he saw a pair of legs stop in front of him.

"I know that look, son," Joe started, "what's going on in there?"

"I need you to be as objective as possible, Joe." Barry huffed and frustratingly ran his hand over his face. Joe silently agreed.

"I don't know how to feel or if what I'm feeling is even sensible - especially because it's mostly my fault. Now time is running out. As a matter of fact, it's pretty much too late."

Joe shook his head. If he hadn't known Barry as well as he did, he'd have no clue what he was talking about. He was speaking in riddles.

"How do you feel about Iris?" Joe asked.

Barry gave him a puzzled expression."You know how I feel about her."

Once again, Joe shook his head. "No, Barry. Tell me how you feel about Iris. Use your words."

At that moment, Barry had come to the realization that he'd never vocally expressed these feelings to anyone before. Unless you count that one time he told Iris in super speed mode. He looked toward the window.

"I love her," he breathed, "I'm in love with her. So much that it physically hurts. When she enters a room...the world moves in slow motion. When she smiles, I feel like my chest is going to explode! I've loved her for as long as I can remember. I don't know when it happened, it just did. And I thought that it would disappear if I buried it deep down, but it's just gotten stronger with time. The saddest part is that I don't remember what life was like before this feeling."

"Barry, look at me."

Barry slowly turned to face Joe, well aware of his overly glossy eyes. Joe smiled a little.

"Listen kid, this is as objective as it's gonna get. I can see that you love her whole-heartedly, but love is only half of the battle. You have to make a decision - and soon. She's engaged. This is real life; this is not a game. So it's step up, or step away. You need to tell her how you feel or move on and don't look back. It wouldn't be fair to either of you."

Barry nodded his head. Joe was right about everything. He was always right.

"Now subjectively," Joe smirks, "...go get your girl!"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Pretty much everything in the show has happened (up to 1x09) EXCEPT Barry admitting his feelings for Iris. With that being said, enjoy! :)**

Motivation from Joe was just what Barry needed. He super sped over to the West household without a second thought. When he arrived just ten seconds later, he realized that he didn't have enough time to come up with a plan. Opening the door, he decided that he would act on impulse for a change.

Barry had no expectations, but walking in on Eddie and Iris swapping spit on the couch like a couple of teenagers was definitely not on his agenda. He quickly did a 180 and began to walk back towards the door.

"Heyyy Allen," Eddie said causing Barry to stop in his tracks. He turned back around with a fake smile plastered across his face. "Heyyy Eddie. I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't interrupt," Iris said, "and this is your house as much as it is mine. Come sit!" She smiled. He wondered how red his face was.

"You know what? It's ok. I can totally leave," Barry said, attempting to escape from his worst nightmare.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you."

Barry internally sighed and sat down on the opposing couch. This was not how this night was supposed to go.

"Iris and I were talking earlier and we would really like you to be our Best Man." Eddie said nervously. Iris laughed. "You really have no choice."

Barry's insides were burning with the temptation to run away as fast as he could. They both continued to talk to him, but his hearing stopped functioning after he heard the words "Best Man". Luckily, he got a 911 text from S.T.A.R. Labs.

"Sorry guys, gotta go!"

**XXxXxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Barry sat on his bed, blankly staring at the piece of paper in his hand as the phone rang. He reflected on everything that had happened in the past few hours. He thought about his 50th failed attempt to tell Iris how he truly felt about her. He thought about Joe telling him to make a decision he could live with forever. He thought about how happy Iris looked with Eddie, how her being happy is what matters most, and he'd changed his mind and decided not to tell her about his feelings. It would just ruin their friendship. Before he could think any deeper, she picked up.

"Alô?"

"Hey, this is Barry…from Jitters."

"I was starting to think I gave you my number for nothing," Bea giggled. "What's up?"

He blushed. "Not much. I'm uh - actually calling to find out when you're free this week. If you want to do something, I mean -"

"What're you doing right now?"

"Nothing really."

"Let's go to the movies. You can choose," she said. "I would pick another day, but I'm working every night for the rest of this week."

Barry laughed nervously. On a regular day he would have never called Bea, but if tonight taught him anything, it was to take your chance when an opportunity presented itself.

"I'll meet you in 30."

**XXxXxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"That was like a 7 on the zombie movie scale," she said as they walked out of the theater. He looked at her and grinned. "You use the scale too? Impressive!" "Nothing will ever beat Dawn of the Dead," she responded, returning his smile. All night Bea had definitely been surprising him in a great way.

"So tell me about yourself," he said, "What do you do?"

"I'm a model."

"That explains a lot," he said causing her to blush. She tossed her hair back and swooped it into a high ponytail to keep it off of her sweaty neck. August had to be the muggiest month in Central City.

"That's sweet of you," she said, slipping her arm around his as they aimlessly walked. "What about you?"

"I'm a forensic scientist. I work at the police station down the street."

"That sounds exciting!" she said. "So you're probably really smart then, huh?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I wouldn't say all of that," he chuckled.

"Your laugh is adorable, Barry."

The back of his neck started tingling and his was face getting hot. He decided to change the subject to avoid turning into a tomato.

"So, what's Brazil like?" he asked. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, as she couldn't recall ever mentioning Brazil to him. "It's so beautiful and warm. Paradise is the best way to describe it - But how'd you know I was Brazilian?"

"Your accent. It's subtle, but it's there."

They ended up playing 21 questions until they arrived at the top of her doorsteps.

"I'm glad you called, Barry. I had a really fun time."

Barry smiled in agreement. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek before going inside.

"Me too," he said to himself.

**XXxXxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

A very bored Iris sat on the couch of her and Eddie's apartment. Living together wasn't at all what she had imagined it would be like. Eddie was almost always called in to work late at night, since the rookie detectives got the worst shifts. It reminded her of old times with her dad and how he'd always work nights. The only difference is she wasn't alone then; she had Barry.

Barry Allen was always the one constant in her life, but lately, it seemed like he'd been a little distant. Other than breakfast at Jitters and run-ins at the police station, they hadn't hung out for weeks. Text conversations were concise and phone calls were too scarce for her liking. Iris furrowed her brows at the thought and dialed his number.

"Hey Iris."

"Bartholomew Henry Allen, where have you been hiding?!" she asked teasingly.

Barry winced. He hated hearing his government name, as it was a mouth full. "Why the full name usage? Am I in trouble?"

She smirked. "Depends on your next answer. Wat'cha doin'?"

"I was just about to order pizza. Why?" he asked as he closed his fridge door.

"Perf! Hold the pepperoni. I'm coming over."


	4. Chapter 4

Iris snickered as she tiptoed to the back of Barry's tiny bachelor pad, where his bedroom was. She pressed her ear to the door and heard him singing along to one of his favorite songs: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.

_"__So I won't hesitate no more, no more__  
><em>_It cannot wait, I'm sure__  
><em>_There's no need to complicate, our time is short__  
><em>_This is our fate, I'm yours."_

She smiled. "I haven't heard you sing this since we were 19."

A startled Barry jumped at sight of Iris standing in his doorway. He hadn't even heard the door open.

"One of these days I'm gonna confiscate your key," he joked as he dramatically pressed his hand to his chest.

Iris quickly gave him a once-over. He had on one of his many superman t-shirts and a pair of baggy fitting, gray sweatpants. His reading glasses, 5 o clock shadow and messy hair were all indications that he'd been in bed all day. She bolted towards him and catapulted into his arms.

"I've missed you!" she said as she squeezed him tightly. "Missed you too, Iris." She plopped onto the bed and immediately went for the pizza box. "I bought wine and beer," she said, "it's on the kitchen counter."

**[xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX]**

2 slices of pizza and 2 glasses of wine later, it was safe to say that Iris was starting to feel a buzz. She rested her hand on his right thigh and her head on his shoulder. "Bear, how are you still sober? You used to be more of a lightweight than me," she teased.

Barry looked down at her hand, then up at her [perfect] face. He should have known that Iris would see past the facade. She'd seen him under the influence way too many times to count. In a flash, he reached under his bed for the extra potent alcohol that Caitlin had perfected for him and poured a shot's worth in his already beer-filled cup.

**[xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX]**

"Let's play truth or dare!" Iris declared as she crawled up onto her knees. She tugged on his arm for him to sit up and positioned herself directly in front of him.

"But there's only two of us."

"So then let's play 'Never Have I Ever'."

Barry smiled drunkenly and crossed his legs, Indian style. "We know everything about each other though. I already know all your dirt. Like the time in 8th grade when-"

"Okay, okay! Point proven," she laughed, "Have I ever told you how much I hate when you're right? Which is like, all the time."

If Barry was in his right mind, he might have responded instead of unashamedly gazing at her with lust-filled eyes. The alcohol was affecting him 10x faster than it would have if his metabolism was of normal speed. His ability to control himself was wavering. One moment, everything was normal, and then the next, the world is moving in slow motion. She leaned forward and carefully took his glasses off.

"Why are you staring like that? You're so drunk!"

He lessened the space in between them and put his index finger to her lips. "Shhh."

Her breath hitched as a chill spread throughout her body. Iris timidly peered at him through her eyelashes, unsure of what the sensation she'd just felt was. Before Barry could do anything further, his cell phone started ringing. He playfully tapped her nose and retrieved his phone from the nightstand. Iris peeked just in time to see who it was.

"Heyyy Bumble Bea."

"Hey Grizzly Bear. What're you up to?" she asked. Barry glanced over at Iris who was currently standing a few feet away, taking off her sweatshirt.

"Netflix, pizza and beer kinda night. Miss your face," he slurred.

Bea chuckled. "Should've asked me to join, instead of getting drunk by yourself!"

"Oh! I'm not-"

"Duuude, can you turn on a fan? I'm soooo hot," Iris whined.

"Uhh, who was that?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I was just about to say I'm not alone. That was Iris."

"Ahh, Okey doke," she said, freeing the tension from her voice, "I don't wanna interrupt, so call me back after your friends leave."

"Friend," he corrected, "...it's just Iris."

Just like that, the tension was back and thicker than before.

"Oh... well, just call me later then." The call ended promptly.

"Bumble Bea, huh?" Iris smirked as she sauntered over to him. She changed out of her sweatshirt and leggings, into a tank top and a pair of his basketball shorts. "You didn't tell me you and Beatriz were dating."

He rubbed the back of his head. "There wasn't much to tell. It's only been a month."

"So that's why I haven't been seeing you."

"That's not it at all," he said, "you know how busy work can get."

"Barry, cut the crap. Work has never had you this tied up. You're being weird. You don't talk to me anymore. You have facial hair." Iris cupped his face with her hand and grazed her thumb over his beard.

He chuckled. "How does facial hair make me weird?"

"Because," she slurred as she snuggled into him, "it reminds me of when you were away at school. You grew out your facial hair when you were going through your 'I'm a grown man' phase." They both smiled before she continued. "And it reminds me of those 9 months of terror after the explosion." She exhaled and looked up at him. "I guess it just makes me think about times you were…away from me. Does that make sense?"

He tilted his head down to match her gaze.

"Iris."

The way he said her name made her heart flutter. Her voice was caught in her throat and her eyelids got heavier as their staring contest continued. Barry slowly traced his index finger down her spine. She turned her face into crook of his neck, her lips not touching, but her breath tickling him. He let out a small gasp and rested his hand on her lower back.

After 5 minutes of suspense-filled silence, Iris finally spoke.

"G'night Bear."


End file.
